I haven’t blogged on here for a long time,
Mainly because when I do blog and vent, it’s come from a darker place, from my depression, or anxiety. And lately- I haven’t had any.
I have been recovering from Depression for about 2 years now, and I can say that I’ve finally reached a point where I feel like I’ve beat it. Sure Depression will always be there. I really feel like once you’ve had it, you’re always at higher risk for a spell. But right now I’m happy. Not always but mostly happy :) I also believe that my eating disorders are gone. Yes, don’t know if I’ve bluntly written it out before, but I have suffered from poor body image and Binge eating disorder- all spurring from my depression. I don’t binge anymore. In fact I find myself rarely even thinking about food- because my tummy growls and I’m like- Oh yeah, food. I also workout a lot more, releasing those insanely healthy endorphins. Keeps me in check with food too because I need to fuel my metabolism and remember not to slow it down whether that entails over eating or starvation.
People ask me now how I’m doing. How my life is. Lately my answer has been “great in some areas, shitty in others.” But I never let the shittiness over power my good areas. Because truthfully, I’m happy in EVERY area BUT my finances… my finances are shit. So, if I let myself dwell on my finances, I’ll be depressed. If I let myself dwell on my current job situation. I’ll be depressed. I’m not acting for a living. YET. And thats where my happiness comes in, and makes this month stand out above the past. Finally I’ve been feeling the hunger to follow my dreams more than ever. I’m writing, creating, and working now to take my next steps. My life starts with me and what I put into it. And because I’m happy I really believe that.
Anyways- here’s to the next days, continued without depression and unhappiness. :)